Merry Christmas

[Lizard]

Merry Christmas you fuckers.

My mother in law is back from midnight mass and both whisky bottles are empty. Merry ho ho and good will to all.

[Galfon]

Festive cheers to all -
so that's how the old maestro does it these days..
http://www.realtimetrains.co.uk/train/S ... 4/advanced

[morepork]

Merry Christmas beatch. I have been tasked with duty of care for my two Italian nieces, both young women in their 20’s. Although easy on the eye, they cannot reliably drive a tractor nor handle even a slight deviation from a sanitised schedule. Whisky too is my path to Zen. The taste in music can only be described as Fubar.

[Lizard]

Merry Christmas beatch. I have been tasked with duty of care for my two Italian nieces, both young women in their 20’s. Although easy on the eye, they cannot reliably drive a tractor nor handle even a slight deviation from a sanitised schedule. Whisky too is my path to Zen. The taste in music can only be described as Fubar.

If you need respite, happy to host your nieces at my bach.

In the meantime Mother In Law had written a full on speech that she read before dinner. After we had enforced silence for the bloody queen’s speech.

I’ve just finished the last of the 5L of home brew I muled up here (semi-imperial West Coast IPA, bloody good if I say so myself).

Did I mention the compulsory matching t-shirts?

[SerjeantWildgoose]

Nollaig shona, all ye hoores and spalpeens. I am the only soul awake in the house. The turkey is in, the spuds are peeled and I now face a dilema while I wait for the home to wake: A bit of early yuletide porn or the In Excelsis Deo episode from West Wing Series 1?

Hope ye all have a cracker and that your home brews and poitíns get you over the curses of mor-in-lors and sugar-hyped snappers nearly as well as the couple of bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape I have been saving.

May I just say, while we're on it, that time is not on the side of 20-year old Italian girls that can't drive a tractor. Let's face it, by the time they're 30 they'll probably look like the tractor and then what? Get it sorted Porky.

[Lizard]

It’s looking up. The Fat Christian Lesbian Sister In Law has pulled out her crate of port & liquers.

[Lizard]

Wait. The Really Fat Super-Christian non-lesbian tee-total sister-in-law is now singing along to some bullshit musical DVD. Sinatra or Crosby or some such.

[Galfon]

Game of 'Twister' on the cards ??

[morepork]

I’m sorry. Actual silence, for the actual queen?

[Stom]

Having a snooze. Made breakfast of smoked salmon scrambled eggs, served with champagne. Followed by a starter of homemade duck liver parfait with a light red, then turkey with all the trimmings and a full bodied white, then Christmas pudding. Now looking forward to cracking out the Heston hidden orange gin I got before a cheese board with port later.

Yum.

[morepork]

I am in histrionic Meddeterranian hell. Managed to piss off the sister in law on FaceTime but. Sort your fucking daughters out. Might be a bit of time out on the couch tonight.

[Sandydragon]

I got woken up at 5am by my very excited little boy, and today has been one long session of daddy day care mingled with cooking lunch.

I’m now being forced to watch Call the Midwife which is slowly draining my will to live. On the bright side, my new bottle of scotch is dulling the pain.

[Mellsblue]

Similar to my day, other than I was woken at 4 and am currently sipping port.

[Stom]

My son woke at 3, but we managed to get him back to sleep, where he stayed until 9. My daughter was a bit impatient to go down but had to wait. Now just got out the port and cheese

[Galfon]

Happy to have reclaimed the right to cook the dinner rather than cramming in to outlaws or trying the eating out option. Good turkey / beef mix but declared a 'fail' on the grounds of tatties 'not crispy enough'.feck off -forget the other ten items on the plate..
It's good when junior is of an age and good sense to top up the Macallan reserves, just in time...salut.

[francoisfou]

Morning, all y'aul feckers!

What happened to Christmas Day? Nothin' but fog here yesterday so the curtains stayed drawn, the stove was lit, the corkscrew well-greased, turkey in t'oven, Christmas pud steamin' for 3 or 4 hours...............................then I woke up this morning to sunshine, snow on the distant mountains, scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for brekkie and contemplating a very late lunch 'cos 'er indoors is still asleep!

[Sandydragon]

Happy to have reclaimed the right to cook the dinner rather than cramming in to outlaws or trying the eating out option. Good turkey / beef mix but declared a 'fail' on the grounds of tatties 'not crispy enough'.feck off -forget the other ten items on the plate..
It's good when junior is of an age and good sense to top up the Macallan reserves, just in time...salut.

I followed Jamie Oliver’s recipe for roast potatoes and it worked well. Disappointed with the stuffing though, M&S failed to hit the mark so I’ll be back to the farm shop next year.

[Sandydragon]

Morning, all y'aul feckers!

What happened to Christmas Day? Nothin' but fog here yesterday so the curtains stayed drawn, the stove was lit, the corkscrew well-greased, turkey in t'oven, Christmas pud steamin' for 3 or 4 hours...............................then I woke up this morning to sunshine, snow on the distant mountains, scrambled eggs and smoked salmon for brekkie and contemplating a very late lunch 'cos 'er indoors is still asleep!

I steamed a Christmas pud for the first time yesterday. I’ll never microwave another one! Steaming brings a great result.

I love Boxing Day. Nice and relaxed playing with my son and no pressure to be anywhere. Cold meats and bubble & squeak for lunch. Brilliant.

[francoisfou]

. Cold meats and bubble & squeak for lunch. Brilliant.

Mmmm! Bon appétit!!

[OptimisticJock]

First Christmas in my first house and I'd like my family to leave now. In fairness my uncle can stay , he likes a drink too.

Merry Christmas spunk trumpets

[morepork]

There will be no spunking in trumpets around here.

[WaspInWales]

Rolled rib of beef in our house and it was cooked to perfection...by me!

Roasties were immense too, and I have to photos to prove it

Been a bit of a different Christmas for me though.

Due to coming off my bike in November and being unable to study for quite a few weeks due to my injuries and concussion, I fell quite a bit behind on the two modules I'm studying.

It wasn't until the 23rd of December that I felt I could sit down, read and take notes again so since then, I've put in a monumental effort to catch up on one module. That meant I spent Christmas day studying for about 5 hours in between cooking dinner and visiting in-laws. Just had a single glass of wine with my dinner and nothing else alcoholic until late in the evening. I'm now up to date on that module. Not sure how much has been committed to memory, but at least I have the notes for future reference.

Just need to do the same for the other module now.

Hope everyone else had a good Christmas.

[morepork]

Jesus mate that sounds like a knock and a half. You'll find that your hard drive will re-route information and once that is consolidated you will be back up to speed. Hopefully it doesn't result in any alterations to your winning personality.

[Lizard]

That’s a bit rough, WiW. All the best with your recovery.

My holiday is about to get amusing. I retreated from the Mother-In-Law’s after 4 days to my bach (pronounced “batch”, it’s Kiwi vernacular for a beach cottage). Sundry in-laws followed (my wife is one of 6 siblings) but only the whisky-based non-churchy ones. As most of them leave, who turns up but MiL, believing that she has been short-changed on visitation by the Australian-domiciled second son who is here (and who moved to Australia 18 years ago for precisely this reason). As she walked in, the first thing she clocks is that I’m reading a book that was her Xmas gift a few days ago to the somewhat elderly man whose 3rd wife is her first daughter. He’s patently not here, so I’ve had to pretend that he loaned me the carefully inscribed volume rather than ditching it after one withering glance (it’s a collection of Clarkson columns - don’t judge me).

I’m sticking with the cricket (Sri Lanka are 5 down, 462 short of the target) and a lovely soured black IPA.

[Lizard]

Oh good. Scrabble time.

Predictions as to how far ahead I am before someone suggests we don’t keep score and play “for fun.”