Irrationally Irritating World XV

[Danno]

Inspired by Banquo (and others) here: http://rugbyrebels.co/board/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4018
And in the unfortunate absence of anyone else having a go to get a go in the last ~8hours, I figured it sounded like enough fun to start a thread.

A wholly subjective and somewhat (or hugely) tongue in cheek World XV of players that are irrationally annoying. Certain positions were difficult to pick and those should be easy to spot, although I've had to resort to tabloid style bs sometimes. Maybe most of the time.

ENOUGH CAVEATS!

LH: Mako
Spent years being amazing in the loose and horrible at the set piece. Suddenly(ish) became solid in the scrum, became the world number one at number one and then got injured. Forgivable, but aggravated it in the warmups and we've had to grab poor Marler out of retirement to avoid settling for Ben Moon. Could try cracking a fucking smile once in a while too.

HK: Guirado
Irritating tendancy to try (and suceed) in dragging the French national team out of tier 2/3 performances on the odd occasion when, frankly, they should know their place. An allegory for Brexit on the wrong side of the miniature pond.

TH: Samson Lee
How dare he get upset by Marler's bants

LK: Itoje
WUMer-in-chief for every other national team on the planet as he backslaps and screams every successful ruck into submission to his sheer force of will. Fuck those other guys, whoever they think they are

LK: Etzebeth
See tabloid disclaimer above.

FL: Peter O' Mahoney
The whingiest of whingy bastards. Especially when he's been caught out for being the whingy bastard that he is. That said, I often wished he was English until about 2years ago when we suddenly found some flankers that just got on with the job.

FL:
I have at least 6 names to put here.

No. 8: Parisse
Possibly the only reason Italy have kept the 6n as the 6n for almost a decade. The attempted drop goal against France recently, demonstrating his mistrust of the rest of the team, really turned me against him

SH: Faf De Clerk
I've said this on another board, I think. He's like the stereotype of the chippy SH was described to a cartoonist, who animated that and then brought that to life. With He-Man hair.
An utter menace and totally offside prick in defence.
Ability to be the best in the world in one game and on par with Walthamstow's second XV in the next is infuriating.

Honourable mentions to Greg Laidlaw for being partly responsible for both perpetuating and now strangling Scotland's ambition/lack of, and, obviously, Mr Benjamin Youngs

FH: Dan Biggar
Mr Yelly hisself. It's not his fault! Seems to be embracing the influence of football wholeheartedly in screaming at the ref at times, which I loathe.
Don't worry, I've got the dude that inspired World Rugby's 'how not to tackle' vid at 12.

Wing: Open spot, I'm tired

Unfortunately I've tuckered out for now.

[Mellsblue]

Tbh, Samson Lee didn’t actually care about Marler’s dig. He accepted it as a heat of the moment thing and is proud of his roots and didn’t find it insulting. 4, 6 & 10 are spot on, even if 4 & 10 seemed to have calmed down a bit.

[Epaminondas Pules]

I’d have Samson Lee purely for his minimalist face. All features gathered in a tiny area leaving the rest of his noggin vacant!

[Which Tyler]

If whinging is qualification; then AWJ should be in there - though with your locks, he'd probably be on the bench.

As for Biggar - there's nothing irrational about finding him irritating.

I would suggest Ben Te'o for IC - but again, there's nothing irrational about being annoyed by him - how about SBW with has goldfish attention span and unwillingness to just settle on one sport, and play that?

[Banquo]

Chris Ashton- though again, easy to rationalise. As you were.

[Oakboy]

Maybe, we should set the standard against the most aggravating ever - Campese.

[Beasties]

Bakkies. If we're doing former players and it looks like we are. Ashton: OMFG.

Campese's the obv one, hardly needed typing out really.

[Beasties]

Always liked to see Quade Cooper come a cropper. Which was often.

[Stom]

Hooper is surely one of the most irritating. David Warner levels.

Rob Kearney.

Another retired irritation was Lee Byrne - his karate kick takes ffs.

Tendai Mtarawira - purely for his nickname.

[TheDasher]

Inspired by Banquo (and others) here: http://rugbyrebels.co/board/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4018
And in the unfortunate absence of anyone else having a go to get a go in the last ~8hours, I figured it sounded like enough fun to start a thread.

A wholly subjective and somewhat (or hugely) tongue in cheek World XV of players that are irrationally annoying. Certain positions were difficult to pick and those should be easy to spot, although I've had to resort to tabloid style bs sometimes. Maybe most of the time.

ENOUGH CAVEATS!

LH: Mako
Spent years being amazing in the loose and horrible at the set piece. Suddenly(ish) became solid in the scrum, became the world number one at number one and then got injured. Forgivable, but aggravated it in the warmups and we've had to grab poor Marler out of retirement to avoid settling for Ben Moon. Could try cracking a fucking smile once in a while too.

HK: Guirado
Irritating tendancy to try (and suceed) in dragging the French national team out of tier 2/3 performances on the odd occasion when, frankly, they should know their place. An allegory for Brexit on the wrong side of the miniature pond.

TH: Samson Lee
How dare he get upset by Marler's bants

LK: Itoje
WUMer-in-chief for every other national team on the planet as he backslaps and screams every successful ruck into submission to his sheer force of will. Fuck those other guys, whoever they think they are

LK: Etzebeth
See tabloid disclaimer above.

FL: Peter O' Mahoney
The whingiest of whingy bastards. Especially when he's been caught out for being the whingy bastard that he is. That said, I often wished he was English until about 2years ago when we suddenly found some flankers that just got on with the job.

FL:
I have at least 6 names to put here.

No. 8: Parisse
Possibly the only reason Italy have kept the 6n as the 6n for almost a decade. The attempted drop goal against France recently, demonstrating his mistrust of the rest of the team, really turned me against him

SH: Faf De Clerk
I've said this on another board, I think. He's like the stereotype of the chippy SH was described to a cartoonist, who animated that and then brought that to life. With He-Man hair.
An utter menace and totally offside prick in defence.
Ability to be the best in the world in one game and on par with Walthamstow's second XV in the next is infuriating.

Honourable mentions to Greg Laidlaw for being partly responsible for both perpetuating and now strangling Scotland's ambition/lack of, and, obviously, Mr Benjamin Youngs

FH: Dan Biggar
Mr Yelly hisself. It's not his fault! Seems to be embracing the influence of football wholeheartedly in screaming at the ref at times, which I loathe.
Don't worry, I've got the dude that inspired World Rugby's 'how not to tackle' vid at 12.

Wing: Open spot, I'm tired

Unfortunately I've tuckered out for now.

Where do I start...

- Mike Phillips - loved him as a Lion, hated him for Wales, SO chippy and arrogant. I wish he'd been English though.
- Stuart Hogg - watch a Scotland game and listen to how many times they say the word Hogg, he's all they talk about.
- Huget - chippy and difficult.
- Sexton - constant moaning to the ref. Also keeps getting up again no matter how many times we've clattered him.
- Farrell - tough guy personna works beautifully when he's playing well, is painful to watch when he's playing terribly, like last weekend.
- Ryan Wilson - hates us.
- And yes Kearney, Byrne and Hooper are great shouts.

[TheDasher]

Always liked to see Quade Cooper come a cropper. Which was often.

Agreed. And also Beale, who has such an irritating look on his face all the time and always has the capacity to be a match winner.

[Gloskarlos]

I’m actually going with Ben Young’s at 9, sick to the back teeth of screaming at the telly to fecking well hurry up and stop faffing.

Agree with Farrell, bigger, Hogg

I’d also add Nell just because I Irrationally find it hard not to hate the name

[Beasties]

Tendai Mtarawira - purely for his nickname.

My irrational dislike for Mtarawira revolves around that match. He was scrummaging illegally from the start and was dead on his feet after 15 mins. Granted Vickery should've pointed out that there was no gap for his head between the LH and the hooker but the ref was beyond useless and didn't want to know. It was a sad end for Vicks career.

[Banquo]

no-one has mentioned Healey. The Lions tour alone, let alone his sometimes amusing but me me me commentary. Knows his stuff, skilful player, c%nt.

[TheDasher]

no-one has mentioned Healey. The Lions tour alone, let alone his sometimes amusing but me me me commentary. Knows his stuff, skilful player, c%nt.

Totally agree. He is the poster-boy for the arrogant sportsman.

I find Greenwood pretty irritating actually.

This team would definitely be managed by Clive. It'd be his gun team.

[Banquo]

no-one has mentioned Healey. The Lions tour alone, let alone his sometimes amusing but me me me commentary. Knows his stuff, skilful player, c%nt.

Totally agree. He is the poster-boy for the arrogant sportsman.

I find Greenwood pretty irritating actually.

This team would definitely be managed by Clive. It's be his gun team.

He has become the most irritating ex coach. But Cheika is the current most irritating.

Greenwood is harmless, and I forgive his daftness as its never malign, plus well, the back story.

Carling would win a place, but its not irrational again.

[Oakboy]

no-one has mentioned Healey. The Lions tour alone, let alone his sometimes amusing but me me me commentary. Knows his stuff, skilful player, c%nt.

Jeffery or Moore with their shoulder chips? Blanco for smoking at a post-match press conference? Stuart Barnes for breathing? Eddie Butler for speaking?

[TheDasher]

no-one has mentioned Healey. The Lions tour alone, let alone his sometimes amusing but me me me commentary. Knows his stuff, skilful player, c%nt.

Totally agree. He is the poster-boy for the arrogant sportsman.

I find Greenwood pretty irritating actually.

This team would definitely be managed by Clive. It's be his gun team.

He has become the most irritating ex coach. But Cheika is the current most irritating.

Greenwood is harmless, and I forgive his daftness as its never malign, plus well, the back story.

Carling would win a place, but its not irrational again.

Greenwood is harmless but does talk some tripe.

[Banquo]

Totally agree. He is the poster-boy for the arrogant sportsman.

I find Greenwood pretty irritating actually.

This team would definitely be managed by Clive. It's be his gun team.

He has become the most irritating ex coach. But Cheika is the current most irritating.

Greenwood is harmless, and I forgive his daftness as its never malign, plus well, the back story.

Carling would win a place, but its not irrational again.

Greenwood is harmless but does talk some tripe.

He does, but those who cast the first stone (inc me)

[TheDasher]

no-one has mentioned Healey. The Lions tour alone, let alone his sometimes amusing but me me me commentary. Knows his stuff, skilful player, c%nt.

Jeffery or Moore with their shoulder chips? Blanco for smoking at a post-match press conference? Stuart Barnes for breathing? Eddie Butler for speaking?

Moore is painful, the tough guy thing is just too cringey.

Butler thinks he's Dylan Thomas but in some ways he adds SOME value to the 6nations, his voice has become fairly iconic.

[twitchy]

Is Lavanini rationally irritating which is why he doesn't make the team?

[Banquo]

Andy Nicol. Game over

[Mikey Brown]

Chris Ashton- though again, easy to rationalise. As you were.

I’m not sure that’s a bad shout. Heard him in conversation a few times and he actually seems like a top guy. The swan dive and being a bit of a pansy in the contact area don’t seem to justify the ire that he receives or having been given a green light by the Tuilagi family.

[bruce]

Andy Nicol. Game over

Boom, seconded. At least with the English irritants (Ashton, Farrell etc) there is a bit of a grudging respect. But Nicol is just a whiney tw@t.

[Lizard]

Gregan