The Cringe/Hate Thread

[Stones of granite]

Spitting, especially in the street. Farking disgusting.

Never, ever visit China.

They are absolutely gopping feckers, the Chinese.

I once had to fly overnight from Monrovia to Kampala and be fresh and ready for a conference on arrival, so HM Govt agreed to pay for me to travel business class so that I might kip. As I settled in to my Kenyan Airlines business class sofa, a Chinese bloke began stowing his duty free in the seat beyond the aisle. He paused only to hawk up an oyster and gob it down the side of the seat.

Our trip took us via Luanda and scoff was served between Monrovia and the stop-off; the Chinese bloke was swallowing drink as fast as the poor stewardess could pour it. When we landed at Luanda yer man got up, collected his duty free and then fecked off, leaving me as the only passenger in Business Class. 10 minutes later, another bloke trundled in with a similar Monrovia Duty Free bag, took the other bloke's seat and started yelling for drink. Clearly there was a scam where these blokes shared the additional cost of 1 Business Class seat and used it to get a feed of drink - but the stewardess had them pegged.

She actually asked me if I recognised the man as the one who had sat there from Monrovia. Now ordinarily I couldn't tell the feckers apart and I wouldn't have shopped them even if I could, but the gobbing down the side of the seat had so pissed me off that I shopped the ballix and glad to have done so.

11 weeks on a Chinese seismic crew in the Tarim desert and you begin to lose sensitivity for the nasty bastards gobbing on the floor in the mess tent.

[SerjeantWildgoose]

The school run that use the road outside my house instead of the drop off point at the school, the drop off point which is shut by the school during school run time on health and safety grounds ffs. Thereby causing 1,000,000 people a day to use my gravel driveway to turn around and park on and my not being allowed a no turning sign by the parish council on health and safety grounds.

This.

And, entirely related, the feckers all drive 4x4 cars the size of bungalows to drop off and pick up their idle and precious offspring, thereby denying lecherous feckers like BBD the chance to cruise around drooling over the 6th formers.

[SerjeantWildgoose]

I'm not sure who I loathe most. The dirt-box who leaves a skid mark in the office toilets or the self-righteous twat who has nothing better to do but type, print and laminate a notice accusing everyone, regardless of guilt, of being thoughtless and telling us to use the brush.

[SerjeantWildgoose]

Visiting priests who love the sound of their own voices and yap on so that Mass goes over the magic 40 minutes, meaning that the Church of Ireland get out before us and there'll be a queue for a table at Paninis!

The only saving grace when this happens is that you know the Baptists are in for at least another 3 hours.

[Stones of granite]

Visiting priests who love the sound of their own voices and yap on so that Mass goes over the magic 40 minutes, meaning that the Church of Ireland get out before us and there'll be a queue for a table at Paninis!

The only saving grace when this happens is that you know the Baptists are in for at least another 3 hours.

One of the downsides of declining attendance at Church services is the number of heathens driving their cars on a Sunday morning when I'm out cycling.

[SerjeantWildgoose]

People who let their children drum their hooves into the back of your seat on an aeroplane and, when you turn round to politely ask them to make the child desist from bruising your kidneys, look at you as if are an abomination.

[SerjeantWildgoose]

Adverts during late night TV. They come around every 2 minutes and almost without exception have the gall to invite me to gamble responsibly.

I've news for the feckers; the fun has stopped so fecking stop!

[OptimisticJock]

Never had SWG down as a grass. What a cunt.

[SerjeantWildgoose]

Grass? I fecking hate Celts who use London slang.

Its 'tout', ye ballix.

[OptimisticJock]

I'll have to defer to your superior knowledge. I've never been called either.

[SerjeantWildgoose]

A couple of wet weekends in the Watch? I'm sure ye've been called worse.

[OptimisticJock]

much much worse. These weekend warriors dinnae ken they're born.

Which reminds me. Half the fucking reserves, cutting about in clip, not shaving, think rifle drill is great because they did a wee course, rank for doing trout...... Nice bounty though.

[Donny osmond]

Definately.

I hear someone say definately and its hard to keep the contempt and disgust from my face.

[Adder]

Went to a zoo the other day but the only animal in it was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.

Stealing this

I prefer chemistry jokes but they don't get the same reaction

Not as good.

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[Adder]

Spitting, especially in the street. Farking disgusting.

+1.

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[Adder]

I'm not sure who I loathe most. The dirt-box who leaves a skid mark in the office toilets or the self-righteous twat who has nothing better to do but type, print and laminate a notice accusing everyone, regardless of guilt, of being thoughtless and telling us to use the brush.

+1

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[Adder]

I know a Priest who had to endure a long trip with such a kid. When the mother appologised (with an embarassed grin)at the end of the trip he is said to have responded something along the lines of "don't worry, I know how hard it can be flying with a handicaped child"

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[Adder]

I hate people spraying on deodorant or perfume at the office. Go to the loo, you smelly f"ck.

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[rowan]

After 12 years, I have a few gripes about Turkey to get off my chest:

1 Replying in Tarzan English when I am speaking perfectly good Turkish to them
2 Pushing in at the grocer because they think a Yabanci (foreigner) will take all day due to language obstacles
3 Waiters swiping my food and drink away before I am finished with it
4 Not stopping at pedestrian crossings. I realise this applies to the entire Mediterranean region, but in Turkey they actually speed up!
5 Taxi drivers blasting their horns every time they see a Yabanci (like all we do is ride taxis everywhere)
6 Totally unnecessary noise - ie blasting horns (in lieu of indicators, for example), shouting into mobile phones (esp. in cafes and restaurants) and announcing the Call to Prayer over loud-speakers at defeaning volume (esp. the dawn edition)
7 Ferocious political speeches, as if roaring like a WWF wrestler on anabolic steroids somehow makes you a trustworthy legislator
8 Constant use of the terms 'terrorists' and 'Martyrs' in TV news bulletins
9 The assumption a Yabanci knows nothing about Turkey and therefore holds no right to an opinion (like Turks don't have opinions on the West...)
10 The assumption Turkish historical figures are household names all over the world and - more than anyone else, apparently - determined the course of history

There'd be a few Armenians reading this thinking, "Tshhhh! That Rowan and his first world problems."

& Greeks & Kurds & So on. In fact, the latter probably have more grievances than the rest combined, and this is an ongoing catastrophe.

However, the Turks also have some very positive traits. If there's an accident, no matter how gory, fatal or otherwise, every male within a square kilometre radius will be on the spot within minutes. I know; I was involved in one a few years back (escaped with concussion after our taxi was hit by an airborne car, whose occupants were not so lucky). I've also been on the scene of a fatal accident in NZ and practically nobody even got out of their cars to help. Turks are also good listeners and don't try to dominate every conversation the way my British & American friends do, hey're hardworking, honest and direct, and generous to a fault.

As for the Chinese, yeh, they spit a lot - even the women - but otherwise I have no complaints about them, having spent a bit of time in the country. Just about my favourite people, in fact, alongside Sub-Saharan Africans.

[BBD]

The school run that use the road outside my house instead of the drop off point at the school, the drop off point which is shut by the school during school run time on health and safety grounds ffs. Thereby causing 1,000,000 people a day to use my gravel driveway to turn around and park on and my not being allowed a no turning sign by the parish council on health and safety grounds.

This.

And, entirely related, the feckers all drive 4x4 cars the size of bungalows to drop off and pick up their idle and precious offspring, thereby denying lecherous feckers like BBD the chance to cruise around drooling over the 6th formers.

Thats why I drive a 4x4

[BBD]

Visiting priests who love the sound of their own voices and yap on so that Mass goes over the magic 40 minutes, meaning that the Church of Ireland get out before us and there'll be a queue for a table at Paninis!

The only saving grace when this happens is that you know the Baptists are in for at least another 3 hours.

At least the Latter Day Saints crowd stay parked for most of sunday

[SerjeantWildgoose]

Definately.

I hear someone say definately and its hard to keep the contempt and disgust from my face.

OBVIOUSLY!!!! "Obviously" has become the new "Ummmm;" the word of choice for those whose mouths outrun their capacity to think.

[Donny osmond]

Definately.

I hear someone say definately and its hard to keep the contempt and disgust from my face.

OBVIOUSLY!!!! "Obviously" has become the new "Ummmm;" the word of choice for those whose mouths outrun their capacity to think.

[Discreet Hooker]

I'm not willing to contribute to this thread , perhaps , my intentional post could be placed in the fridge and snacked on at a later time period .

[rowan]

After 12 years, I have a few gripes about Turkey to get off my chest:

1 Replying in Tarzan English when I am speaking perfectly good Turkish to them
2 Pushing in at the grocer because they think a Yabanci (foreigner) will take all day due to language obstacles
3 Waiters swiping my food and drink away before I am finished with it
4 Not stopping at pedestrian crossings. I realise this applies to the entire Mediterranean region, but in Turkey they actually speed up!
5 Taxi drivers blasting their horns every time they see a Yabanci (like all we do is ride taxis everywhere)
6 Totally unnecessary noise - ie blasting horns (in lieu of indicators, for example), shouting into mobile phones (esp. in cafes and restaurants) and announcing the Call to Prayer over loud-speakers at defeaning volume (esp. the dawn edition)
7 Ferocious political speeches, as if roaring like a WWF wrestler on anabolic steroids somehow makes you a trustworthy legislator
8 Constant use of the terms 'terrorists' and 'Martyrs' in TV news bulletins
9 The assumption a Yabanci knows nothing about Turkey and therefore holds no right to an opinion (like Turks don't have opinions on the West...)
10 The assumption Turkish historical figures are household names all over the world and - more than anyone else, apparently - determined the course of history

I forgot motor-scooters. Those guys have no interest in the road laws whatsoever and make no distinction between pedestrian areas and vehicle areas either. Seems like half the time I go to cross a road, checking to my left, a scooter comes flying in from the right and just about bowls me over. This, of course, is a lot worse down south, where scooters appear the primary mode of transportation - at least in the summers.