Limericks

[Galfon]

He did, enough not to kill but to stun.


She came round in a bit of a daze

[Tobylerone]

That loose tile, it had been there for days..

[Galfon]

now running late

[Tobylerone]

With a bump on her pate..

[francoisfou]

Tried to find her way home using Waze.

[francoisfou]

Instead of turning left, she turned right..

[Galfon]

as the route on her phone was shite

[francoisfou]

She arrived in Dundee..

[Galfon]

went straight on a spree

[francoisfou]

Got arrested and banged up for the night.

[francoisfou]

She woke screaming « Gimme a wee dram! »

[Galfon]

" i need it to go wi' me diazepam "

[Buggaluggs]

but instead of her wish

[Tobylerone]

The Prosecco was pish..

[Galfon]

As hotels go, she thought 'twas bit of a sham.


The sarge woke her next day with a prod

[francoisfou]

Said, « Away wi’ ye, ya miserable sod »

[Galfon]

The back-door was shown

[francoisfou]

On her arse she was thrown

[Galfon]

"Nae messin' aboot!.." said the Dundonian plod.



A passing ice-cream man saw the distress

[Buggaluggs]

Mr Whippy soon ripped off her dress

[Galfon]

She yelled "ninety-nine !"

[francoisfou]

An’ crushed nuts’ll be fine..

[Galfon]

But the ice-man took it to excess..


She was not a fan of chocolate tips

[francoisfou]

But took a fancy to bondage and whips

[Tobylerone]

She read a book by de Sade..