RugbyRebels

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:

Stones of granite wrote:

Mellsblue wrote:Spitting, especially in the street. Farking disgusting.

Never, ever visit China.

They are absolutely gopping feckers, the Chinese.

I once had to fly overnight from Monrovia to Kampala and be fresh and ready for a conference on arrival, so HM Govt agreed to pay for me to travel business class so that I might kip. As I settled in to my Kenyan Airlines business class sofa, a Chinese bloke began stowing his duty free in the seat beyond the aisle. He paused only to hawk up an oyster and gob it down the side of the seat.

Our trip took us via Luanda and scoff was served between Monrovia and the stop-off; the Chinese bloke was swallowing drink as fast as the poor stewardess could pour it. When we landed at Luanda yer man got up, collected his duty free and then fecked off, leaving me as the only passenger in Business Class. 10 minutes later, another bloke trundled in with a similar Monrovia Duty Free bag, took the other bloke's seat and started yelling for drink. Clearly there was a scam where these blokes shared the additional cost of 1 Business Class seat and used it to get a feed of drink - but the stewardess had them pegged.

She actually asked me if I recognised the man as the one who had sat there from Monrovia. Now ordinarily I couldn't tell the feckers apart and I wouldn't have shopped them even if I could, but the gobbing down the side of the seat had so pissed me off that I shopped the ballix and glad to have done so.

AL. wrote:The school run that use the road outside my house instead of the drop off point at the school, the drop off point which is shut by the school during school run time on health and safety grounds ffs. Thereby causing 1,000,000 people a day to use my gravel driveway to turn around and park on and my not being allowed a no turning sign by the parish council on health and safety grounds.

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:Visiting priests who love the sound of their own voices and yap on so that Mass goes over the magic 40 minutes, meaning that the Church of Ireland get out before us and there'll be a queue for a table at Paninis!

The only saving grace when this happens is that you know the Baptists are in for at least another 3 hours.

Donny osmond wrote:

Adder wrote:

Donny osmond wrote:Went to a zoo the other day but the only animal in it was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.

Stealing this

I prefer chemistry jokes but they don't get the same reaction

Mellsblue wrote:Spitting, especially in the street. Farking disgusting.

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:I'm not sure who I loathe most. The dirt-box who leaves a skid mark in the office toilets or the self-righteous twat who has nothing better to do but type, print and laminate a notice accusing everyone, regardless of guilt, of being thoughtless and telling us to use the brush.

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:

rowan wrote:After 12 years, I have a few gripes about Turkey to get off my chest:

1 Replying in Tarzan English when I am speaking perfectly good Turkish to them
2 Pushing in at the grocer because they think a Yabanci (foreigner) will take all day due to language obstacles
3 Waiters swiping my food and drink away before I am finished with it
4 Not stopping at pedestrian crossings. I realise this applies to the entire Mediterranean region, but in Turkey they actually speed up!
5 Taxi drivers blasting their horns every time they see a Yabanci (like all we do is ride taxis everywhere)
6 Totally unnecessary noise - ie blasting horns (in lieu of indicators, for example), shouting into mobile phones (esp. in cafes and restaurants) and announcing the Call to Prayer over loud-speakers at defeaning volume (esp. the dawn edition)
7 Ferocious political speeches, as if roaring like a WWF wrestler on anabolic steroids somehow makes you a trustworthy legislator
8 Constant use of the terms 'terrorists' and 'Martyrs' in TV news bulletins
9 The assumption a Yabanci knows nothing about Turkey and therefore holds no right to an opinion (like Turks don't have opinions on the West...)
10 The assumption Turkish historical figures are household names all over the world and - more than anyone else, apparently - determined the course of history

There'd be a few Armenians reading this thinking, "Tshhhh! That Rowan and his first world problems."

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:

AL. wrote:The school run that use the road outside my house instead of the drop off point at the school, the drop off point which is shut by the school during school run time on health and safety grounds ffs. Thereby causing 1,000,000 people a day to use my gravel driveway to turn around and park on and my not being allowed a no turning sign by the parish council on health and safety grounds.

This.

And, entirely related, the feckers all drive 4x4 cars the size of bungalows to drop off and pick up their idle and precious offspring, thereby denying lecherous feckers like BBD the chance to cruise around drooling over the 6th formers.

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:Visiting priests who love the sound of their own voices and yap on so that Mass goes over the magic 40 minutes, meaning that the Church of Ireland get out before us and there'll be a queue for a table at Paninis!

The only saving grace when this happens is that you know the Baptists are in for at least another 3 hours.

Donny osmond wrote:Definately.

I hear someone say definately and its hard to keep the contempt and disgust from my face.

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:

Donny osmond wrote:Definately.

I hear someone say definately and its hard to keep the contempt and disgust from my face.

OBVIOUSLY!!!! "Obviously" has become the new "Ummmm;" the word of choice for those whose mouths outrun their capacity to think.

rowan wrote:After 12 years, I have a few gripes about Turkey to get off my chest:

1 Replying in Tarzan English when I am speaking perfectly good Turkish to them
2 Pushing in at the grocer because they think a Yabanci (foreigner) will take all day due to language obstacles
3 Waiters swiping my food and drink away before I am finished with it
4 Not stopping at pedestrian crossings. I realise this applies to the entire Mediterranean region, but in Turkey they actually speed up!
5 Taxi drivers blasting their horns every time they see a Yabanci (like all we do is ride taxis everywhere)
6 Totally unnecessary noise - ie blasting horns (in lieu of indicators, for example), shouting into mobile phones (esp. in cafes and restaurants) and announcing the Call to Prayer over loud-speakers at defeaning volume (esp. the dawn edition)
7 Ferocious political speeches, as if roaring like a WWF wrestler on anabolic steroids somehow makes you a trustworthy legislator
8 Constant use of the terms 'terrorists' and 'Martyrs' in TV news bulletins
9 The assumption a Yabanci knows nothing about Turkey and therefore holds no right to an opinion (like Turks don't have opinions on the West...)
10 The assumption Turkish historical figures are household names all over the world and - more than anyone else, apparently - determined the course of history