RugbyRebels

Scientists studying coronavirus transmission in different animal species have reported spikes in porcupine populations.

Next week, I am going to try a different bread item every day.
Roll on Monday..
<kfc>
*****
With bread shortages affecting areas in total lockdown, police are concerned about dough smuggling.There are reports of rising cases in local airports.

Have you tried blind archery?

No?

You don't know what you're missing

Puja

I met a girl with twelve nipples.
Sounds funny
Dozen tit.

Puja

Man in bar, to language student:
"I've been learning German for twenty years !"
Student: "Zwanzig jahren isn't it ?.."

3 men stranded on a desert island dig up an old bottle on the beach that when opened, freed a Genie trapped for a thousand years..
"You have set me free after a long long time - In return I will grant each of you a free wish, anything you desire..."
Man 1:" I need to get off this island and get back home.."
He disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Man 2: "I too would like to go home, back to my family."
He was gone
Man 3: "I am feeling so lonely already, please could I have my friends back ?"

My wife just applied for a job helping someone with a keyboard disability typing capital letters.It's shift work.

If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

Buggaluggs wrote:If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

That is truly terrible. Please excuse me while I share it with everyone I know.

Puja

I was once engaged to a girl with a wooden leg. She was really upset when I broke it off.

I don’t like the term, “anal bleaching.” I prefer, “changing your ring tone.”


The drummer in my band has just had twin girls. He called them Anna One, Anna Two...

morepork wrote:I don’t like the term, “anal bleaching.” I prefer, “changing your ring tone.”


The drummer in my band has just had twin girls. He called them Anna One, Anna Two...

As you mentioned musicians, I've got a Slovakian friend who's a sound technician.

And a Czech one too, and a Czech one too.

Puja

My mum got a new stair lift. I asked her how she likes it.
Honestly, she said, it's driving me up the wall.

There's been a theft of toilets from the local police station, unfortunately the police have nothing to go on.

Buggaluggs wrote:I was once engaged to a girl with a wooden leg. She was really upset when I broke it off.

I don't know why, but that reminds me of a schoolboy joke that was ancient even when I were t'lad :

Hear about the gypsy with a glass eye?
His dad had a crystal ball.

Yes. It's still terrible.

Spiffy wrote: His dad had a crystal ball.

saw that one coming..

My lad recently took a weekend job at a local Italian restaurant, helping out in the kitchen.
He thought it would be ideal for him, but it only took 10 minutes for the penne to drop..

My cousin had to sadly close his Power line installation business
because of the overheads.

Two politics students sitting by the pool:
'Read Marx ? ..'
'Yes - it's the whicker chairs.'

Man in restaurant: "I'm not sure what to go for..."
Waiter: "How about the duck ?"
Duck: "Just the lasagne for me."

<bob.m>

A small group of Romans walk into a pub.
One of them approaches the bar, holds up 2 fingers, and says "5 please"

Three vampires walk into a pub :

Barman : What are your having
First vampire : Pint of blood please
Second Vampire : Same for me
Third Vampire : Feeling a bit woosy tonight - just a pint of plasma
Barman : Right, so that's two bloods and a blood lite

Spiffy wrote:Three vampires walk into a pub :

Barman : What are your having
First vampire : Pint of blood please
Second Vampire : Same for me
Third Vampire : Feeling a bit woosy tonight - just a pint of plasma
Barman : Right, so that's two bloods and a blood lite

That is so bad I want to slap you.

morepork wrote:

Spiffy wrote:Three vampires walk into a pub :

Barman : What are your having
First vampire : Pint of blood please
Second Vampire : Same for me
Third Vampire : Feeling a bit woosy tonight - just a pint of plasma
Barman : Right, so that's two bloods and a blood lite

That is so bad I want to slap you.

It is the crap joke thread, after all.

A lImerick