RugbyRebels

Trump golf resort at Turnberry has banned Irn Bru because of its carpet-staining properties! Is nothing sacred with this oaf? One hopes all Scottish golfers will do the right thing here.

It’s strange really, as the stain left by irn bra on a cream carpet is quite close to Trump’s skin tone.

Is the real reason its been banned not because it tastes like vomit strained through a tramp's sock?

It really gets my fecking knackers clanging when the Jocks go on about their fecking Irn Bru and Tunnocks Teacakes like they're the culinary equivalent of a Chateau Lafite Rothschild and a half pound of Wagyu sirloin.

And some of them even try to claim that the pigs-piss-sausauge they pump out in Stowoway comes even close to Clonakilty puddings!

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:Is the real reason its been banned not because it tastes like vomit strained through a tramp's sock?

It really gets my fecking knackers clanging when the Jocks go on about their fecking Irn Bru and Tunnocks Teacakes like they're the culinary equivalent of a Chateau Lafite Rothschild and a half pound of Wagyu sirloin.

And some of them even try to claim that the pigs-piss-sausauge they pump out in Stowoway comes even close to Clonakilty puddings!

I’ll give ye the irn bru and teacakes, but ye’ve gone too far insulting Stornaway black pudding ya heathen plastic paddy huur zur.

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:Is the real reason its been banned not because it tastes like vomit strained through a tramp's sock?

It really gets my fecking knackers clanging when the Jocks go on about their fecking Irn Bru and Tunnocks Teacakes like they're the culinary equivalent of a Chateau Lafite Rothschild and a half pound of Wagyu sirloin.

And some of them even try to claim that the pigs-piss-sausauge they pump out in Stowoway comes even close to Clonakilty puddings!

BIg words from a guy from the country that gave us 15s and tayto crisps


Its like e numbers came and punched my teeth

Stones of granite wrote:

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:Is the real reason its been banned not because it tastes like vomit strained through a tramp's sock?

It really gets my fecking knackers clanging when the Jocks go on about their fecking Irn Bru and Tunnocks Teacakes like they're the culinary equivalent of a Chateau Lafite Rothschild and a half pound of Wagyu sirloin.

And some of them even try to claim that the pigs-piss-sausauge they pump out in Stowoway comes even close to Clonakilty puddings!

I’ll give ye the irn bru and teacakes, but ye’ve gone too far insulting Stornaway black pudding ya heathen plastic paddy huur zur.

I'll brook no insult from a so-called Jock who can't even spell Stornoway - including the cunting spell check on my fecking Apple!

To be fair, it was a hoofing of one of my own sacred cows. It takes some doing to better Kilty pudding, black or white, but Stornoway black pudding is the very food of the gods.

And are we talking about Norn or Free State Tayto crisps, Java? They're all pretty grim, 'cept Tandragee's Tayto Cheese 'n Onion which go well between a couple of hearty slices of wheaten bread with a quarter inch of full-fat, hyper-salted butter.

15s are worse than Tunnocks; which is a bit like saying Hitler was worse than Pol Pot.

If the army issue you tayto in your havergags you ken they're shite!

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:

Stones of granite wrote:

SerjeantWildgoose wrote:Is the real reason its been banned not because it tastes like vomit strained through a tramp's sock?

It really gets my fecking knackers clanging when the Jocks go on about their fecking Irn Bru and Tunnocks Teacakes like they're the culinary equivalent of a Chateau Lafite Rothschild and a half pound of Wagyu sirloin.

And some of them even try to claim that the pigs-piss-sausauge they pump out in Stowoway comes even close to Clonakilty puddings!

I’ll give ye the irn bru and teacakes, but ye’ve gone too far insulting Stornaway black pudding ya heathen plastic paddy huur zur.

I'll brook no insult from a so-called Jock who can't even spell Stornoway - including the cunting spell check on my fecking Apple!

To be fair, it was a hoofing of one of my own sacred cows. It takes some doing to better Kilty pudding, black or white, but Stornoway black pudding is the very food of the gods.

And are we talking about Norn or Free State Tayto crisps, Java? They're all pretty grim, 'cept Tandragee's Tayto Cheese 'n Onion which go well between a couple of hearty slices of wheaten bread with a quarter inch of full-fat, hyper-salted butter.

15s are worse than Tunnocks; which is a bit like saying Hitler was worse than Pol Pot.

It'll be no surprise to you that it was iPad spell checker that fecked up Stornoway. Or maybe in my rage at the perceived slight on the marag dubh, I developed sausage fingers.

Foodies of the world: Book your culinary adventure of a lifetime in Ireland and Scotland now.

morepork wrote:Foodies of the world: Book your culinary adventure of a lifetime in Ireland and Scotland now.

Could do worse.

Stones of granite wrote:

morepork wrote:Foodies of the world: Book your culinary adventure of a lifetime in Ireland and Scotland now.

Could do worse.

Indeed, tourist demand for deep fried Mars Bar washed down by several pints of black stout is at an all time high.

Tobylerone wrote:

Stones of granite wrote:

morepork wrote:Foodies of the world: Book your culinary adventure of a lifetime in Ireland and Scotland now.

Could do worse.

Indeed, tourist demand for deep fried Mars Bar washed down by several pints of black stout is at an all time high.

I think the demand for deep fired Mars bar is in fact almost entirely tourist driven. Don't know about black stout, though.

Incidentally, I was in Slovenia a fortnight ago and discovered Slovenian fast food - Mesni Burek. Feckin magic. I reckon I could sell the recipe to Greggs and with a 1% commission on sales could retire now.

Stones of granite wrote:Incidentally, I was in Slovenia a fortnight ago and discovered Slovenian fast food - Mesni Burek. Feckin magic. I reckon I could sell the recipe to Greggs and with a 1% commission on sales could retire now.

How the mighty have fallen. From the President of Egypt to Eastern European fast food. Still, it was a very cunning disguise until some idiot outed him on the internet.